Starting something new is scary. We are creatures of habit, and anything that wrenches us outside of our comfy shell can feel terrifying, or at least unsettling. That was how I felt two weeks ago when I began my university life. Unsettled. That feeling of possibility laced with anxiety reminded me of a similar time six months earlier when I began my first internship at NodeFlair. Or 2 years ago when I began my national service in the police force. It felt like this marked the start of something significant, a radical change of my lifestyle into that of a student.

My fears

Meeting new people

I have always been more on the introverted side of the spectrum, and have trouble opening up to people whom I’ve just met. It was no suprise then, that I was slightly worried about how all these social interactions would go. I’m afraid that at times I may come off as disinterested or aloof, when in reality I’m just afraid to open up more and be comfortable in my own skin. This is definitely an area that I want to work on while in university.

The work

Whilst I admit that I have a headstart, given my year of self study in NS and subsequent internship, I don’t believe that this is an excuse to sit on my haunches and be complacent. In computer science, especially, the pace of learning is relentless, and there is always something new to study. There is also a self-inflicted pressure on myself to perform well given my experience. I have decided to take things as they come and make consistency my mantra instead of rushing to complete everything.

FOMO

Lastly, I’m genuinely scared of not having the experiences that characterize this stage of life. Be it clubbing, doingstupid things with your friends or even getting into a relationship, I feel like this is my chance to do all of this and I don’t want to miss out. One of my deeper fears is that I haven’t truly experienced what life has to offer due to my conservative nature. I feel that I have to cultivate a sense of adventure and desire to try new things, something that I have trouble doing. That’s why I want to say yes to every opportunity that comes my way, be it joining a new cca, going out with friends or starting to date.

Here’s to the next 4 years

I hope that when I look back on this I will see that there wasn’t much to be afraid of, and that I would havae achieved what I wanted to do in these upcoming few years. Here’s to a great uni life!