Consistency

I have trouble being consistent. I stop things halfway. I don’t follow a plan that I made. I step forward only to jerk back, dancing back and forth on the road of progress. Am I being too harsh? Is consistency the most important thing? What does it mean to progress and where does it lead to? These are all questions that I find myself grappling with now.

My job search is still ongoing. Day in and day out, sending applications is definitely a sort of consistency, the kind that wears you down. Compared to that, the consistency of writing, piano playing and exercise or climbing is all much more pleasurable. And yet, the former is deemed as necessary and essential and the rest as optional.

I want to show up for the things I’m passionate about, but sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions that I am inching my way towards each of them. Maybe I need a more structured sort of routine, a wake up, write, play my piano, then climb sort of routine. But treating life like a series of steps and time blocks doesn’t sit well with me either.

Does being interested in so many things make it more difficult for me? I don’t think that it has to be. I’m going to keep trying, but I want to record and keep track of things better. Perhaps seeing where my time is going to can help me to see my consistency over time.

Have you ever struggled with consistency? Have you dropped a hobby or stopped a routine or just felt despondent at the constant maintenance and effort needed to keep something going? Maybe the takeaway is that we can be kind to ourselves and see how far we’ve come as well.